To Everything there is a Season

          

      “A ship in the harbor is safe but that is not what ships are for.” ~John A. Shedd ~

      “Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?” ~ Frank Scully ~

      “ Progress always involves risk...You can't steal second base and keep your foot on first.” ~Frederick B. Wilcox

 

      Yes, we were unfastening our ship from the safety of its moorings, dangling out on that twisting, long sweeping limb and sprinting for that second base to make the steal... The Lord spoke to us and  said, “Travel north,” which meant He was once again returning us to the land He had knitted our hearts to seven months earlier. We made a quick stop in Dover then got settled in for our long journey hoping to arrive to Connecticut for a delightful evening meal. It was a beautiful sunny day... A Sunday ...the same weekday we had traveled to Milford just a mere three  months earlier in February. We were returning to our hearts desire, this time with an abundance of wealth, (our many new friends and a copiousness of wondrous memories), rejuvenated as well as refreshed and filled with an elation that the Lord was indeed bringing us back to Mystic. We could hardly wait to go and see the home nestled on the river...We had enjoyed it's splendor in the fall and winter seasons and now we would be blessed to be able to take in it's glory, adorned in all of its amazing spring attire. We planned to go back to the Skippers Dock to enjoy some of their delicious seafood stew and hot cheesy garlic bread, to visit McQuades and pick up some fruit, veggies, fresh breads and gourmet chowders for our fridge at the hotel. We could hardly wait to breath in the ocean once again while being serenaded by all the sea birds as they glided upon the gradient winds along with the sounds of crashing waves on the beguiling golden shoreline.

      It was not long after we stopped at the Toll bridge, paid our fee and put the jeep on cruise control that the traffic began to slow down... then to our surprise, everything came to a complete halt. As we looked further down the turnpike , we could see a large gap across both sides of the Expressway. It felt very strange and eerie as there was no movement on either side of the highway whatsoever... truly something I had never experienced before. Everything was  at a complete standstill except the prodigious old trees blowing in the cool breeze and the birds flying above with such grace and ease . Everyone was patiently waiting in their cars for the traffic to move...all of us imagining that their had been a car accident and that surely, within time, everything would eventually start moving. A half hour soon turned into and hour … still there was no movement as far as our eyes could see. A number of cars on our side of the highway had pulled out of their tightly secured space, crossed the divider and turned around to go back to find another route as they vacated the toll road. Suddenly without warning, out of nowhere a helicopter appeared in the sky, slowly making its descent onto the road...then another one preceded right beside that one. Our hearts sank imagining how epic and massive this accident had to be.   Sure enough, we learned that there was a monstrous collision involving many cars and medics were sent to fly all of the injured victims to the hospital. By the time the police were able to clear the roads and the traffic was moving, hours had passed. With another bout of heavy traffic further up the highway,  we arrived to the New Jersey rest stop right about sunset. The sky was absolutely breathtaking with its radiant hues of orange, pink and yellow gracing the eventide sky and the cooler temperatures were very tranquilizing. The parking lot was packed, filled with many a tired traveler ready for some freshly brewed coffee, hot food and a 'siesta' before heading back on the expressway to their diverse destinations. Kit, Graham and I were fatigued as well as craving a hot meal. We contemplated if it was worth it to try and make our goal and planned resting place in Branford Connecticut, seeing that our arrival time now would be a lot  later. With having only $300.00 dollars in our pocket, we wanted to pick and choose carefully how to use the money the Lord had given us as we ventured in faith to New England. Our final decision? “Lets camp out here in New Jersey tonight...We can get some hot food, coffee and sleep in the beautiful ambrosial park area of the rest stop and head out first thing in the morning for Connecticut.” Tina and Mark had blessed us with an overhead storage carrier for our car so all of our belongings were no longer taking up the back of the jeep, thus we had an area to make a bed.  It was settled...the three of us would snuggle up and get some sleep in the jeep. The Lord blessed us richly as always...We ventured inside to the potpourri of familiar eateries...It smelled wonderful as we each picked out our individual choices of 'comfort food' for our dinners that we would share  together overlooking the lush green grassy knoll area.  Kit got a 'loaded Cheeseburger' with all the trimmings and  crispy hot onion rings  and I chose chicken tenders with BBQ sauce, French fries and a garden salad...We had two piping hot cups of coffee and were set for the night,(with a few secretly stored sweets from our quick stop at Wal*Mart in Milford). Graham was on cloud nine as he received  a myriad of both of our meals.   We shared a glass of Merlot as we sat in the back of our jeep, the back door opened, the cool breeze blowing. There playing outside by the jeep was a family with 3 of the most adorable, rambunctious kids. They were absolutely enamored with Graham and of course, he with them.  Kit and I felt such a joy, a perfect peace and an overload of grace to sleep in our car that night. We sat and talked way past dusk, enjoying the summer sky with the enrapturing and captivating display of the stars and bright smiling moon dazzling our senses... Graham nuzzled up in Kits seat upfront for his 'long summer nights sleep,' Kit and I were all snug and comfy in the back with our feather pillows and  throws covering us, our windows cracked and the sound of  Grahammy snoring as Kit and I told who- done-it, cliffhanger   stories. (We do that sometimes to help each other  fall asleep and especially did this endearing summer evening as we had no TV or our Laptop to watch a movie.) Finally, about 10:00 PM, we all drifted off into slumber land after thanking the Lord, praying for safety and  a good nights rest.

      To say we woke up feeling rested would be a bit untrue. We learned for the first time that  there was a very large and very long bump down the middle of the back of our jeep...not conducive to a pain free nights rest BUT, we did get in about 5 hours of sleep and were thankful for that. By 5:30 AM, we were all ready to 'get up', go inside the rest stop, freshen up, get some coffee...(strong and hot coffee) and a bite to eat.  By 7:00 AM we were on our way, filled once again with such a peace and excitement that out weighed our sore backs and blood shot eyes. We arrived to Branford Connecticut around 11:00 AM.  The  hotel would allow us to check in after 12:00 noon, (once again being so gracious to us), so we had an hour to kill, thus found a McDonald's where we enjoyed more freshly brewed coffee, hash browns and split a  cheese and sausage 'egg McMuffin.'  We were so happy to be back in New England and excited to get a hot shower and rest on a real bed as we sought the Lord for His heart and plans on this, our 4th journey to our promised land.

      Here we were in the same hotel that we had spent the night at on February 7^th before heading to Milford to meet our new family. For our  dinner, we picked up some Chinese food,  lit our candles, chose a good movie and just enjoyed being snug, safe and at peace. We both remarked how very blessed we were  that in just a short three months time the Lord had 'loaded us up with all of His many benefits, favor and love.'  We were so grateful to be back in Connecticut with a HOPE of what God was going to do and in addition , we had a whole new group of friends who loved us, (and us-them) as well as an abundance of prayers  and support as we continued on our journey. Guess who had already called us (several times) to make sure we were OK, safe and sound? Yes...Tina. She truly was  was one in a million.

     We slept like babies that night. Graham included...Both he and Kit were tawdrily snoring away. I did not mind one bit as I was with my two favorite guys in all the world, in Connecticut and filled with a sense of awe and serenity.

      Ah...what can be likened to a wondrous nights sleep on a choice and resplendent mattress? We were so blessed to be at a hotel where the lobby was was right down the hall. All Kit had to do was put on  his sweats and take a quick jaunt to get us our morning coffee.  Our room in Branford was just as it had been months earlier minus one very comforting amenity.  We no longer had our computer due to a system failure while staying at Mark and Tina’s. To get access to our e-mail and Kits  clients, we had to go to the public library. (Thank you Lord that  there was one near by.) Our plans for the day were of course, to drive to Mystic to see the house and meander through the town taking in the highlights of the city in the height of late spring. We knew there would be a ton of 'tourists' as this was Mystics season to shine... There would be a myriad of travelers from all around the country admiring the enchanting Cider Mill with its old apple press and beloved antiques and  the Mystic Aquarium with Beluga Whales, Penguins and sea lions. With Mystics' adventuresome  Voyager Cruises, animated  Nature center as well as their infamous Mystic River marina adorned with a bounty of notable ships, we knew without a doubt, we would see long lines and many a crowded parking lots.  We didn't mind at all...  Kit and I were  just so happy  to be back in the area and looked forward to a day of reminiscing and conversing with the Lord.

 

      Our day out was beautiful...the milieu was  that of a late  spring, early summer presentation,  graced with blue skies, bright sunshine and a lazy breeze.  Mystic in the spring was thriving...yes, there were an ample amount of sight seers but still, it possessed a charm and alluring invitation and soothing beckoning to “Come and enjoy its bounty.” We turned the corner off the main street down from the renowned Bascule bridge...drove up the street to make our next turn where ' our' beloved house would be in full view...Our stomachs a flight with butterflies, we approached the home nestled on the quixotic river.

      At our first glance, there were a few trucks parked in the driveway ...the front doors were open and the "For Sale " sign was gone. We took a moment to catch our breathe. Kit drove the Jeep up the road and we parked under an illustrious old tree, cooled by its shade as we gathered our thoughts. Could it be the house had sold  and there were already new owners within making new changes? We fought the very thought.There had to be another explanation...Our emotions  began to  flood our souls as we sat there trying to think of what to do next. We looked back and there sitting on the quaint cobble stone wall was a woman accompanied by an adorable and quite  small, rambunctious dog. We decided to take a walk and introduce ourselves to her and her spirited pooch.  As we sauntered past the home, all of the workers were gleefully taking a break...walking out to the lush green lawn next to the inveigling river. The water was so blue...the breeze mesmerizing. They looked as if they did not have a care in the world and certainly did not notice Kit, Graham and I and a neighbor, (we found out) from up the street.

      As always, when meeting someone new with Graham at our side, (when there is another canine involved), our dogs sniffed, got tangled up with their leashes and the first 5 minutes of our conversation was all  about THEM.  We introduced ourselves...her name was Alice ...a woman in her 60's, full of energy with kind and smiling eyes. We found out that she was an avid fan of Mystic as we  began chatting about the town, weather,  how long she had lived on the street and then of course the unavoidable question was asked.

      Kit swallowed as he began his quest... “It looks like this house has been sold...we had seen a For Sale sign on the lawn for some time while visiting this area and now it is gone.”

      “Yes, it just sold in the last few weeks...A couple from England bought it. They plan to use it for a summer get-a-way.  They purchased the place for a little less than the asking price and they've  hired a team of designers to come in and renovate the entire home. They are taking down all the wallpaper, changing all the window treatments and painting the entire inside. They loved the layout but not the decor and style of the home.” She went on to say how long she had lived in Mystic, her cottage being right down the street and how the neighborhood had changed so much since her and her husband had moved in many years before...To be honest with you, I did not hear or take in much of what she said after she spoke of the new owners...Neither did Kit. Graham kept pursuing her little dog and wanted so desperately to  play. After a short while, we said our goodbyes and headed back to our jeep.

      The tears cascaded from my eyes as my heart felt as if it was breaking...Kit was speechless...We sat in our car, just staring at the road before us..We felt plundered, torn apart, doubtful, despondent but most of all, heart broken. We began to listen to the voice within that lead only to a dark place, (which we should have rebuked immediately), thinking that perhaps we had not heard correctly from the Lord...that we had been deceived and our faith had all been in vain.   "Did we make this whole thing up? Lord, WHERE ARE YOU?  As our hearts recalled that magical October day, snug in our jeep during the the  spectacular thunderstorm in Rhode Island, parked by the grassy knoll when the Lord said; “Make your request and I will grant it”, this made no sense. We asked the Lord, " Why did you lead us to this home, tell us to ask and believe You  for it,  allow us to see and tour the home, (seeing that each room was a replica of the rooms You and I had designed in faith while living in Phoenix)  only to have it now  gone?  Lord, You have been so much apart of this entire faith walk...How could this happen? " At this time we were wondering  why  the Lord had brought us  back to Mystic. The dream of the home was dying inside...we did not know what to think, feel or do next.....It was like a nightmare and we hoped we would open our eyes and  it would  all go away.

      Kit and I had lost all of our peace...our spiritual view was very foggy...our hearts in torment. No matter how much we sat in our jeep and prayed and talked, we were still plagued by a horrible agony and overwhelming affliction  aggressively  trying  to invade  upon our souls. 

      It felt as if the light within was gone... The light that Kit and I had been passionately pursuing for seven months.   I liken the feeling  to a magical lighthouse nestled upon the craggy cliffs shining its brilliant light of hope to all of the many ships out at sea traveling home to their safe haven.  The  light symbolizing  hope, assurance  and comfort... For all of the seafaring captains depending upon its signal, imagine the light going out... The abandonment of the soft, comforting glow  brings forth fear, confusion, and at times  even a panic...each maritime chieftain  feeling lost, a void and darkness. That was how Kit and I felt that moment, that hour as well as the rest of the day.

      What to do? Nostalgically, ( feeling as disheartened as we did) , we wanted to be back in our snug home in Alexandria Virginia with a weekly paycheck, a house filled with all of our familiar belongings, watching NCIS or American Idol on our big screen TV, enjoying our take out P. J. Chang’s Chinese food or Papa Johns Pizza.  Our hearts sick with pain, we drove back to Branford. Walking into the hotel room was only a reminder of our months of faith and now our doubts that what we were doing was truly even OF GOD...Our souls were flooded with apprehension, confusion and uncertainty...We fed Graham but had no appetite whatsoever... I took some Advil for a killer headache...we made a few calls for prayer and attempted to sleep... I cried off and on for a long while ... Kit was very quiet.

      Though I know with certainty the Lord had been right next to us and had surrounded us with His love all night long, we could not FEEL it. The morning arrived and I remember sitting there with our hot coffee from the lobby, feeling sick inside. I wished that I could go right back to sleep so I did not have to think or feel what we were experiencing .  Have you ever been at a place where your thoughts are ambiguous so much so that you don’t even know what you want to ask the Lord or what you would like Him to say to you?  We were in a place of doubting that the voice we had been following was EVEN HIM. How could we expect to have Him speak to us now not trusting it was indeed His voice we would hear. We felt alone, angry, fearful and we cried out to God for a miracle and for His intervention in a way that  we would once again have His peace, (Without having to HEAR HIS VOICE), just something that would happen to assure our hearts that everything was OK and we were on track...even though our dream home was now gone. 

     Some of the things we contemplated in our minds were ; Was the Home on Starr road a “type of home,” a symbol of a place that God had chosen to use to bring forth our faith? (If so, we wondered why the Lord allowed us to tour the home and see that every room mirrored the rooms in my book.) Did this all happen for a time in the far off future...many years away and one day, it would all come to pass in Mystic Connecticut? Was there a lot more preparation for Kit and I before the Lord would place us as the hosts of the Kings Tavern? (You can only imagine all the many thoughts and abundance of questions that raced through our minds. )  At this time we had to be prepared for ANYTHING.  We needed our Fathers touch, assurance, comfort, love and the revelation of His heart.

      Believe it or not, the day did get better. Somehow, with all of our prayers and those of our precious friends and family along with our phone chats, we began to feel a HOPE. The flicker of our faith had not been completely blown out by our enemy. (As our emotions tried to proclaim that THEY were the truth and not the word of God.)  When we could finally set aside all of our feelings, preconceived ideas and assumptions, surrender our wills, hearts and minds once again to Jesus, we began to start getting back onto our pathway of peace.

      The Lord showed us that this was our designated moment of “dying to the vision” He had placed within our hearts. Not pleasant, I assure you... It is a bitter sweet thing to believe God for His promise yet at the same time, lay it all down...With His words to us still embedded deep within our hearts, that is just what we did...as well as lay down every bit of our own understanding. The important thing at this moment in time was to submit to HIM alone..not our feelings, beliefs, His promises but to His very character and He Himself.   

     He spoke to our hearts;  “Will you TRUST ME...separate from anything I have promised you and give up your own understanding? Will you allow me alone to be your peace? "

     (It reminded me of the story of Job...the passage that shares the wonderful place Job arrived to in his relationship with the Lord, “Though YOU slay me, yet will I trust You .” A beautiful scripture but oh so painful to get to that place.)  Our answer was "YES...we will TRUST and BELIEVE YOU, no matter what."  Thus peace like a river began to bathe our souls...We had to stop questioning and abide in that peace to even survive at this time...Thank you Lord for Your supernatural peace.

      When you look at the great men of the bible, Abraham, Joseph and David,  they all had to go through the very same thing...A Death to the vision... It was as If God told them something spectacular and then  it seemed the promise vanished before their very eyes. Their hopes were diminished and their lives actually began going the very opposite direction of the Lords sacred word.  It is one thing to read about it, another to experience it but assuredly,  recalling all of their accounts was comforting. The beautiful thing was that God always did come through with His word to them. Perhaps not  exactly how they imagined or certainly not the timing they hoped for or expected... But He always came through. It was at this time we had wished there was a phone line to heaven so we could call them up and ask them, “How did you get through it all and what would you say to us right now?

      Abraham was promised a son...it looked impossible and it did not happen for many, many  years...He had to die to any possibility that he and his wife could bring about the promise and then when God did give them their son, He asked Abraham to place him on the altar.  (I can't even imagine!) Joseph was given a magnificent  dream , (a promise) of being a great ruler, yet before his promise was fulfilled, he spent years in Egypt as a slave and time in jail  from being falsely  accused, (all theses things making it look like the Lord never spoke to him).   Then there was David, ( one of my very favorite guys). He was told he would be an anointed King of Israel yet after the promise, he  spent many years hiding in caves,  fatigued and  disquieted,  running from his enemy Saul.  I am sure he too was probably tempted to “give up” or say to God, “What is going on here Lord?  You said...”

      We now found ourselves in a quite peculiar situation.  With things looking like the Kings Tavern was not on the immediate horizon,  we wondered what the Lord would have us to do.  We talked to all of our precious moorings...a lot.  Some of them felt we were to stay there in Connecticut, others had no clue and their hearts were broken right along with ours at the news and circumstances.

      The one thing Kit and I knew was that the desire within our hearts had not changed...we wanted to stay in Connecticut.  The heart strings the Lord had tied to this seafaring land were still very snug and tight. As we laid all of our ideas, hopes, dreams and our own perspective of time down on the altar, we asked the Lord if indeed He desired us to stay in Connecticut.  We felt that He said “YES”. In receiving the Lords peace, we began to make a plan to do just that. We would stay on in the lovely and quaint town of  Branford until the Lord opened the doors for  our next resting place. 

      Who would have thought that within a matter of days after our painstaking grief  and feelings of despair,  we would be back on our journey.  Yes, a little befuddled... still feeling a bit of heart ache and  discouragement, (our present hopes of the home on Starr Road  dashed and squelched)  but in the midst, we had a peace...a peace to keep on the road to Gods purpose and outcome. We took our hot showers, freshened up and got some dinner. (In all of our angst, we had not even thought to eat and  as the Lord began to restore our peace, we realized we were starving.)  We chose to trust God to heal our hearts, give us new direction, keep us on His path and to strengthen us in Jesus. It was certainly a time in our lives where we were learning first hand that it is not in the arrival of our hearts dreams that joy comes in its fullness...it is within the journey itself and WITHIN THE ONE IN WHOM WE ARE JOURNEYING WITH.  It is in JESUS!

      “Most assuredly, I say unto you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain.”  John 12:24         

                    

       It is  still quite a mystery to me that through the process of  death, the amazing  gift of  life springs forth in  abundance.