Befuddled, Bedraggled but Blessed.

                                                   

      Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls; All Your waves and billows have gone over me. The Lord will command His loving-kindness in the daytime, And in the night His song shall be with me ~ A prayer to the God of my life. Psalms 42, 7 &8

      Kit and I could surely attest to the “billowing waves” and we most certainly were beginning to receive the first refrain of “His song to us in the night.” It was a bittersweet moment, likened to a runner entering into a 25 K marathon ... strategically planning in their mind how to run the race and acquire the treasured prize at the end... trophy or no trophy, the prize? Finishing the race! It is hard to conceive that in the ^24th mile, a cramp, fatigue or fear itself, would cause someone to literally quit running, give up and turn around. Can you imagine the “what ifs?” and haunting regret that the runner would face for days, months, perhaps even years later?  For Kit and I, there was not a  single thought strong enough to tempt us to quit. We were in this journey for the long haul...no matter what. I love the song by gospel singer John P  Kee. He soulfully sings the words; “The lord will always show up on time and YOU JUST CAN'T GIVE UP ON JESUS.” Our greatest fear was miss-hearing the voice of the Lord or being deceived. But in truth, these were two things we never had to worry about as the Lord knew our hearts and He faithfully would keep us. Even if we did make a mistake, He would always be faithful to His word, calling and us, His beloved Kids. 

 

      Our new temporary home? Branford, Connecticut. An inviting, quaint and historical town nestled on the shoreline of the Long Island Sound in New Haven County, 8 miles east of the prestigious city of New Haven. This town was ever so charming, filled with woodsy and enchanting old neighborhoods, alluring beaches and an abundance of bucolic land graced with monstrous, ancient and prominent trees. Every one of its beautiful winding roads would most definitely transport each guest into an inveigling country wonderland. We loved its romantic ambiance and were happy to be there if only temporary. It was our 'safe harbor' as we began our new journey to settle in to Connecticut.  Our plans? Look for work, a place to live that was less expensive than “hotel life” and to find a church in Mystic that we could attend and get to know fellow believers. Several of our 'moorings' offered to help us financially, (some giving us a gift, and others a loan), as well as their allegiance to stand with us in prayer and support  as we ventured further to see what God had for us there, now that we knew the home on Starr Road was not what the Lord had for us at this time.

      We were able to stay in our little “snuggery”, our one room abode for our first week back in New England. There was one evening, (while we were waiting on funds to be sent via  Western Union) where we found ourselves once again in our Jeep Cherokee. (Hey they say, three times is a charm.) It was not our first choice but the Lord made it a very adventuresome and magical night as we revisited one of our very favorite spots in Connecticut...the beautiful and alluring town of Noank. A tiny,  hidden away hamlet... its milieu befitting the motif of a fairytale movie. How we found it one day had to be the Lord. It truly was one of those places you come upon by accident that embody a copiousness of splendor and beauty. We parked our jeep right next to an alluring and quite  beguiling cove...a snug little beach with a view of the Fishers Island Sound. During the day this inlet came alive with the laughter of children splashing and playing in the sea...elderly men sitting on the benches smoking their pipes reminiscing over “old times” and couples sharing a romantic picnic together as the sun and cool breezes off the ocean evoked moments of adventure and reverie. On this particular night the only action going on was the bright smiling moon trying to outshine the majestic sparkling stars in the sky amidst the gentle sounds and smells of eventide on the shoreline. It would have truly been like heaven if we had a little cottage with our high, comfy cozy Rice bed in the same place our jeep was parked but for this night, we thanked God for our SUV and a place to sleep. The three of us shared some double cheeseburgers and fries from McDonald's (no onions for Grahammy) and of course Kits beloved apple pies.  We talked for awhile before setting up the back of the jeep for our nights slumber.

      As we were sitting in our jeep,  to the right of us  was  the serene and beauteous bayou, and in front of us,   a large , quite esoteric house that seemed to have fallen asleep in a bottomless furrow of time, I heard the Lord speak to me within my spirit; “2nd King's, chapter 4:8. ”  As I began reading this story, I knew without a shadow of a doubt what the Lord was saying to my heart,  for a joy mounted within my soul as I read each word accompanied by His spirit bringing forth life to  what He personally was speaking to Kit and I.  Ah the tale of the Shunammite  woman. This story is remarkable.  It is all about a woman of God who had longed for a child  and having given up hope, the Prophet Elisha tells her that the Lord was indeed going to grant her her hearts desire...a son! Can you imagine her elation and joy at that moment? Sure enough, as promised, within the year she was embracing her precious promise from God. Then the unspeakable occurs...Years later, at a very young age, her son took very ill and died...Her heart was broken and she went to see her dear Elisha. In obedience  unto God, he traversed back to her home and as he obeyed all that God asked him to do in faith ,  to Gods glory, a miracle happened. Her son was brought back to life...his life was  restored... YES, he literally was brought back from the dead. Now can you imagine once again her awe, joy and complete bliss? My spirit was overflowing with a whole new perspective. I did not know when, how or the means but I knew that night as we sat in our jeep amidst the secret cove, that the Lord was going to fulfill every single part of His precious promise to Kit and I . Our promise and  vision,  that He  had asked us to 'die to'  would be redeemed by God alone.  I snuggled up next to Kit...He and Graham were once again snoring, (always falling asleep before me). I didn't mind at all that we were camping out at this special little harbor amongst the magic of Noank, the ocean and the flirtatious winking constellations amidst  the sky...My Father had just spoken and all was right with our world.

      As the morning arrived with the soothing sounds of the waves breaking, gulls calling and the morning sun sparkling upon the still waters, we headed over to McDonald’s to freshen up, get some coffee , breakfast and wait for the Western Union office to open so we could pick up our money and go back to Branford. 'Thank you so much Lord for your provision and constant care for us.'

      It was now officially our second week in New England. We successfully found Branford's historic library. (A place I could spend hours and hours in, it was so beautiful.)  It was such a blessing to have a computer to use. (Kit could service His clients, we could send and receive e-mails from our friends and look for job opportunities.) We thanked God that as the temps were becoming a lot warmer, we had a room that had air conditioning. We kept our little fridge filled with “healthy foods” and enjoyed our favorite  Mexican eatery Margaritas, as they hosted a Happy Hour Monday through Friday evenings. (You know, buy a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and all of the hors d' oeuvres were free.) We also had a  marvelous Chinese restaurant that had THE BEST ' two dollar' quarts of Hot and sour soup in which we made a full meal by loading up on an abundance of those delightful crispy noodles. It is amazing how creative one can become when living out of a hotel on an austere food budget. 'Thank you Lord for such great ideas.' One of our treats for the week was taking a trip to meet Dr Dale fife, (the author of the two books we read while basking in our extraordinary respite with Tina and her family).  His church was nestled  within the charming  countryside of  Farmington Connecticut.  The pastoral drive was mesmerizing and we were extremely blessed by all the loving people that greeted us. We were a bit disappointed that Dale was not there that day as we desired to share how much his books blessed us but we enjoyed a wonderful sermon, praise and worship and left with our hearts and spirits full.

      With a tip from a friend in the Gaming business, we drove to the magnificent and lovely Mohegan Suns Casino as they had a position open for a Computer tech for the slot machines. It was a 'no go' as the job opening was not available in the near future and there were weeks of training involved with no pay.  Per the hotels rules, one of us had to be with Graham at all times in our room so that meant only one of us could actually begin a new job, thus Kit was the "designated employment hunter.” As he continued to look and apply for jobs, he also filed for unemployment. A blow to our spirits as well as a huge disappointment, we found out that because of something not taken care of with the taxes at our DC Network Company, the Unemployment Office could not grant Kit any checks...It was very frustrating news and quite a battle but Kit persisted. 'Lord, please make a way where there is no way.'

      Through word of mouth, we discovered a quite charming and quaint little church in Mystic. The pastor was young, zealous and loved the Lord. He and his wife shared a wonderful “faith story” of a miracle baby  that the Lord had blessed them with. (Hey , our kind of people!) His congregation was filled with loving people who cordially greeted us and made us feel welcomed. We were invited to a celebration dinner upon our first visit at the church...we enjoyed wonderful cuisine including  BBQ burgers, grilled chicken, homemade salads, desserts and a smorgasbord of homespun side dishes. (WE felt like we were in Hog heaven.)  Everyone we met was enthralled with our 'journey' and made us feel right at home. We continued to posses a great hope as everyday the Lord showed up with wonderful gifts for us. Another special blessing , one of our precious moorings, Margo, sent Kit and I an array of 'Gift cards.' A few were to T.J. Max and several to local eateries. It felt like Christmas.  With our T.J.  Max card we splurged and got a few clothing items but pampered our selves with some Hazelnut Biscotti, jelly belly’s, chocolates, (Can you tell we needed comfort?) and fragranced candles for our little snuggery in romantic Branford. 

     Our third week in Connecticut...Just like the ever ready bunny, we just kept on ticking.  Now that we were attending a church and the people were getting to know us, we shared our desire to find a room for rent as well as looked in the Newspapers for  rental ads hoping that the Lord would open up a more affordable place to stay. Kit continued to pursue his quest for his unemployment checks and continued to search for more jobs.

      The gentle spring was giving way to the sultry and balmy heat of the summer season.  Our days were not nearly as breezy and cool. Graham was in 7^th heaven every morning when I would grab his leash and we would began our daily jaunt around Branford. After walking around the hotel, we ventured over across the street to a cozy and fairy tale like neighborhood. The tall  prominent trees and gorgeous array of color spilling everywhere with every kind of flowering bush you could imagine, accompanied by all the manicured yards was  awe-inspiring and a wonderful change of scenery. I found myself looking forward to Grahams and my daily jaunts... as we passed by  each one of the charming inviting cottages, I would get caught up in a daydream, imagining the wondrous day the Lord would return to us all of  our belongings and settle us into our own house. Oh how My heart longed for a home...enjoying once again our cozy,  high southern  Rice bed, Limoges china and cherished photographs of memories with  our loved ones. I missed our goose down comforters, decorative pillows and favorite coffee mugs, (each one with a  great story behind it). Our evenings were tranquil, filled with a light meal, hot baths, TV shows or a movie and great rest. We went to sleep with hope and woke up with hope, believing soon the Lord would bring a breakthrough.

      Within the end of our 3^rd week in Branford,  we could not help but feel a little mystified and even a little discouraged as we were not seeing any results from all of our efforts and prayers. No one at the church knew of any jobs or rooms for rent, the only calls we got from the ads in the paper were a “No” as they did want to rent a room to a couple or said our precious  little Graham was not welcome. The unemployment office said their hands were still tied and lastly, there were no job prospects that had presented themselves. . We called Tina, Vito and others for prayer... no one person had THE ANSWER but boy, we sure had a great prayer support team interceding for us.

       “Lord, please will you shine a light in this darkness we feel. Could you show us either way...whether to stay or go? Please begin to open or close the doors that are in your heart for us."

      The Lord was listening. What happened next was extremely esoteric...a time in our lives we will NEVER FORGET. Sometimes the Lord stops answering one way to teach us another but He always answers our prayers and I still can't get over how  very creative He is. 

 

      The last Sunday evening of May, Kit and I decided to treat ourselves to a 'night out' with our gift card from Margo. We drove into New Haven to dine at 'On the Border'. We are quite the connoisseurs of Mexican cuisine and the thought of being able to enjoy more than 'just appetizers' was a dream come true. The evening was perfect...one of those awe inspiring spring nights where the fragrance of a fresh rain soon to arrive was traipsing about in the air, evoking nostalgia and memories of many a rain storm past with its magic and comfort. (We are also connoisseurs of majestic thunder storms.)  The temps were cool and there was a light breeze blowing through our open windows, soothing as well as tingling our faces. (Thank you Lord it was cool enough to have Graham with us.)  Early that morning, we had spotted an add in the paper for a possible place to rent, thus called and left a message.  Sounding to good to be true, the ad read, “ Large room for rent with house privileges ...over looking the New London Thames River." The monthly rent was impeccable and Graham would be a welcomed resident. While dining in the lovely eatery with a medley of savory Mexican cuisine, fresh hot chips and Pico de Gallo, (We even splurged on a glass of Merlot.)  our phone rang... It was Miranda...the lady from the ad. She asked if we could drive to New London and meet her that evening so she could show us the room.  We were perplexed as to what we should do as during our meal, we both had come to the same conclusion 'perhaps the Lord was speaking to us loud and clear in the fact that nothing had happened and that we should start considering another plan... Maybe it was not our time to settle in Connecticut after all.

      “Can we call you right back” Kit asked.

      Miranda said yes.

      Finishing up our delicious meal, we placed it before the Lord...it was late and the drive would be almost an hours time as a tumultuous rain storm was approaching and we knew we needed to stop for gas. Our prayer? “OK Lord, we will try one more time...If this is your open door for us stay in New England, then please bless this home for us.” His peace filled us..Kit called her back and it was a “go.”

      As we drove to New London, our hearts and hopes were high.   "Could it be this was our answer and we were going to be able to stay?”

     We arrived to our turn off a bit early.  As our gas tank was nearing the “E”, we looked for a station and to our chagrin, there was nothing whatsoever near by. We had seen a Gas station on the other side of the bridge, thus we decided to head back and fill up before our much anticipated tour of the “room with a view.” Admiring the glistening lights upon the water, (yes my eyes were opened this time as this bridge was not intimidating and frightful like the others),  suddenly, about a third of the way up the arch, the absolute unimaginable happened. Our jeep just up and died. Didn't matter what we did, there was no juice...and of course in front of our eyes was a  solemn sign that read, “NO STOPPING ALLOWED ON THE BRIDGE." Oh Joy...nothing like adding stress to an already disquieted moment. “Lord, what do we do?"

      Something you need to understand  is that my husband Kit is truly one of the wisest men I know so,  like when E.F Hutton speaks, I listened.

      “ OK, Susan, the only thing I know for us to attempt to do right now is to stay on the shoulder of the road and coast backwards to get off the bridge.”  He said, with a few beads of perspiration forming on his forehead.

      “Coast backwards, going against other cars that are going forward?” I replied...an abundance of beads of perspiration building up on my forehead, neck, (OK you get the picture - hyper stress lady that I am.) I went on to say, “OK honey, if you feel that is  our best solution then I am game and will  start praying."

 

      Thus that is what we did.  I prayed as Kit orchestrated our backward decline off the bridge. It was not  as bad as I thought it would be. ( The Lords angels were all around us, I am sure.) We made it. Yeah! As we got to the bottom, (or actually the beginning of the bridge), we veered off into a parking lot, (through a major intersection, thank you Jesus there were no other cars, ) of  a strip mall. I can't even express the thankfulness within my heart that we were safe, off the bridge and parked. We immediately called Miranda to tell her what had happened. She said she would be there for a little bit longer if we wanted to try to get over to see the place, (as we were  only a few blocks from her home and could walk over) .  As we sat in the parking lot, trying to decide what to do and who to call, a security guard happened to be surveying the lot. He kept giving us “the evil eye.” (OH joy again.) Needless to say, we felt a bit awkward. (After all, it was Sunday night and the shops had long since been closed.) Suddenly, out of nowhere,  a man drove up  in his truck  and parked right next to our jeep.  He was a young man, about 40 years old  with a very kind face and friendly voice.

       As he rolled down his window he said “Hi there. My name is Rick...are you guys OK?”

      Kit immediately replied with   a great  relief that someone would even stop and inquire, “Hi Rick, my name is Kit and this is my wife Susan.”

      Of course by this time, all any of us could hear was a woof woof woof...Yes our faithful watch dog Graham had to get in his two words, (More like 50). After shushing Graham of his endless (I want to protect you guys bark as well as trying to scare Rick by showing his sharp teeth,) we were able to talk to him and share our dilemma. He was so very thoughtful and caring .

     "There is a car repair shop across the street. Would you like me to push you guys with my truck so you can leave your jeep there over night? This parking lot is really not a safe place to leave your car.” He asked smiling.  (Isn't that just like the Lord to bring someone along to help in times of peril?)  Sure enough, between the 3 of us, we got our car to the shop.  Kit had called Miranda back one more time explaining our plight and asked 'could we still come by or was it to late?'  She said that she, her boyfriend and daughter were actually driving back to to New Haven that night and that they could drop us of in Brandford, no worries. How great was that? Rick also offered and said he would be more than happy to take us back to the hotel. So touched by his offer, we thanked him but told him we had a ride...we all shook hands and as we said goodbye he gave us his business card with his cell number. We then began our jaunt to the house on the river.  As we started  walking, it began to rain...a delicate rain with light drops gracing our faces. We were disquieted over the jeep but so excited to see this room overlooking the river. Upon knocking on the door, Miranda greeted us... after all of our introductions, (including Grahammy) she lead us up a set of stairs that were quite frail, a bit eerie and daunting as each step we took, a loud creaking sound followed. Upon seeing the 'highly exaggerated room for rent,' what can I say except our first thought was  “No way Jose.”  Yes, the room had a tiny view of the ever so enchanting river but that was all it had to offer. All that our eyes beheld were unfinished walls, uneven floors and we could not make out exactly what the odd aromas were but they definitely were not conducive to my “home sweet home" motto. We continued our tour only to see an abundance of  clutter and mayhem and knew that if this was Gods answer for us, by His grace alone we could do it but other wise we would have to say thanks but no thanks.  The tiny kitchen was cluttered and by the looks of the opened doors and unmade beds, there were quiet a few people living there.  Miranda left us upstairs for a few minutes to talk it over...There we were weighing out our desire to stay in Connecticut and the thought of staying in this uninviting and distasteful home... We met her downstairs where her boyfriend and daughter were patiently waiting .

    "So what do you two think? Are you interested in putting down a deposit tonight?” Miranda asked.

      Kit spoke up immediately . “ We really do need some time to think about it especially with what just happened to our jeep.”   

     With that reply, she smiled and said “OK, I can give you a few days but that’s it...and I am sorry to tell you this but I do not feel safe, (as I don't really know the two of you)  to have you drive in the car with my daughter and I,  so we will not be able to take you back to Branford after all."

      As she ushered us out the door, the rain began to fall even harder. I felt as if the wind was knocked out of me.We were 45 minutes away from our hotel room and we we had already told Rick goodbye. He had left for his home and we now had no way of getting back.  I immediately called Tina and she prayed for us.  Kit looked over at me and suggested that we could sleep in the jeep for the night and try to find a way home the next day. I was beyond beyond... We arrived  to our jeep, dried Graham off as well as ourselves and sat inside as the rain poured down around us ...tears welled up in my eyes.

      I asked Kit, (yet in my heart I felt as if I was ready to beg) ,  " I really do not feel like I can do this tonight, we have no pillows or blankets ...is there anyway you would consider calling Rick back and asking if he would come and take us to Branford?” Now, if Kit were a bachelor and this incident occurred, I know for a fact he would have toughened it up and slept in the jeep. I know he did it for me...he was (and is) my hero. Kit called Rick, (as late as it was), and he gladly came back to get us. So there we were, the three musketeers snug in Ricks truck as we began our journey to Branford...He was so sweet,  he actually offered to stop and buy us dinner if we were hungry. We chatted about Connecticut, the weather, Graham, (he always steals all the attention) and we could not stop thanking him enough...It truly was as if he was an angel sent by the Lord...arriving exactly at the right time, so caring and thoughtful and then coming back for us after we told him we had a ride. It blew Kit and I away!

      We arrived to Branford a little after midnight... I can't tell you how wonderful it felt to get a hot shower and climb into our bed.  I could not stop thanking Kit, Rick and God, over and over... When the thought of our jeep popped up, I felt like Scarlet O’Hara in Gone with the Wind when she said, “I can't think about that right now, If I do, Ill go crazy...I'll think about it tomorrow."  But one thing we did know that night for sure ... Miranda was not going to be our new landlady.

      With the sun peeking in through our windows, we woke up  thankful to be in our safe room...We sat with our coffee, had our time with the Lord and then Kit finally put in a call to the car repair shop where we left our jeep. Mike, the mechanic said it would not be until the afternoon that he could put the car up on the racks to explore what the problem was. Thus we waited.  It was not the good news we had hoped for. The verdict? It was our transmission and we needed a new one. He may as well have said, 'you are going to need to buy a new car folks' when he quoted the prices to us. Suddenly the big hill we were already climbing seemed steeper and we were already out of breath.  We knew it was time for a pow-wow with the Lord...  In looking at all the facts...We had not secured a place to live that we could afford, we had no job offers, we still could not get unemployment and now we had no car... 'Lord, perhaps you have just spoken.'  Our hearts were downtrodden for sure...Our precious moorings all had mixed emotions as well...Some said , “Stay...Yes the battle is hard but the Lord has big things for you there...DO NOT not give up."  Others said, “Enough is enough...pack up and go home.” ( HOME? Now that was an interesting concept. Where was our home?) 

     We were in the middle of our 4^th week in Branford...our hearts tender, we were wearing our emotions on our sleeves and it took everything within us to just hang on...Now whenever we had errands to do, we walked. I say 'we' but it was mainly Kit as he had to get to a library, ( an hours  walk), to be able to access a computer for his clients needs as well as research job opportunities . The grocery store was near by the library so he would leave in the morning and come home in the afternoon. The temps were now in the high 80's...poor Kit ...He would come home soaking wet from the humidity. I praised God for all the friends that called our hotel,  for air conditioning and cable TV as sometimes when I thought I would go crazy or break down sobbing, I was comforted by one of my favorite movies playing or  by 'Tim the tool man Taylor' filling up our room with laughter, the feeling of home, felicity, family and safety, ( all in which I was craving).  Its funny how at times the Lord uses a familiar show or movie to speak to our hearts that "Everything really is going to OK.” I was so thankful for the little restaurant deli adjoined to the end of the hotel...I would sneak over for 5 minutes to get a cup of gourmet coffee... my treat for the day until Kit would get in...We splurged for a 'much needed morale booster' and ordered a pizza...Just the aroma as the delivery man came to our door was nostalgic of all of our wondrous Pizza nights gone by...The smell of pepperoni, cheese, mushrooms, sausage and savory Italian sauce proclaimed of normalcy and home... Graham was one happy camper as well...Pizza was his comfort food just like it was ours. We needed a miracle, we needed to hear the Lords voice very clearly. We prayed for both.

 

      In describing how we felt at this moment of our journey, I will liken it to this...Imagine being the chieftain on an old Majestic ship...The maritime vessel is on a  august commission...a great call of the King. As it begins its journey,  it proudly proclaims its farewells, saying goodbye to the safety of dry land. All is well...the sea is calm and smooth. The faith of the captain is sky high...the fog is slowly creeping in with blazes of sunshine cutting through its pearly gray haze. The quiet is  gladly interrupted by the calls of the seabirds, terns and gulls swooping down from the sky as a  school of dolphins playfully frolic upon the surface of the shiny waters. The beluga whales with their human like eyes glide along side the ship. The on board chef is cooking up a savory meal, hot coffee is served...the camaraderie on deck is blissful, sea stories of old are told and everything is like a dream... perfect! Suddenly, a storm begins to brew and approaches quickly...the current starts to surge and swell...the ship is now tilting to the right as the cascading waves are crashing over onto the bow of the  mighty vessel...Everyone labors and tries to get the water out of the ship but it is to no avail. It looks as if there is no hope...surely the crew will drown if a miracle does not occur... The only hope is in the hand of the one who is the creator of all miracles...The King, the Lord Himself. If He does not move on their behalf, surely everyone will die....So they  pray,  wait,  they  cry out and  experience every emotion known to man...then majestically He arrives to the scene...A new hope fills the captain and the enervated  troupe  and  they know that no matter what, sink or swim, (because He is there) THEY WILL BE OK... ONLY Because of HIM.

      A part of us was ready to leave Connecticut...lay our journey of faith in Connecticut down at His feet, just for peace of mind and yet,  there was still the longing in our hearts for it all  to work out.  It was a raging battle within for sure. In this our 24.75 mile...we did not want to give up and be haunted with all of the 'What ifs;' ( "If only we had tried and stayed one more day, perhaps we would have seen the hand of the Lord move.")  I guess the question of the hour was, “How long do you keep standing, believing and doing what at times seems insane before you say, I can no longer do this Lord?”   For Kit and I , we were about at our limit. Emotionally we did not know how much more rejection we could take... Nothing was working...nothing made sense.  God had called us to come to the east coast... first  to Virginia in 2000... He brought us to Washington DC. then called us to Connecticut.  We stood and believed for 7 months for the home on the river...walked the land, went to Delaware for a rest and  then He said to go back to Mystic. We died to the vision and felt led to stay and TRY... Our feelings? "Lord, this hurts like hell, (as the expression goes and for no better word to express the pain),  to now leave our beloved Mystic and go somewhere else to start over again from ground zero...God was silent or perhaps our boisterous emotions blocked His still small voice. We needed Him so! We longed for His peace, a home, easy days where there were no more major decisions to make. We wanted  to share laughter with Him, our fears to be gone, to feel loved and accepted, to be living simply, to be at rest...  "Jesus, we once again lay it all down...we ask you to  fill us anew with just YOU...Please , please direct our every step and heal all of the emotional pain we feel...just bring us back to YOU.”

      I love this song by Selah... the pictures as well as the lyrics FIT PERFECTLY with Kit and I at this moment in time. Turn your speakers up and get on the ship with us for a few minutes. 

      The glorious peace of the Lord returned to us as did His presence... (Thank you Lord.) He did not tell us what to do, so we moved in faith. If a miracle did not happen in Connecticut the next day, we had 4 options that we felt were possible places to go....each one brought a little comfort , a temptation of a “homey feeling”, something we had not known for awhile and so desired.

     We got out our pens and paper, writing down our  plans and options. Our four places? Arizona, California, Delaware and South Carolina. Arizona and California as they were our old stomping grounds with a bounty of family and friends who called us and said, "We would love for you to return and we will help you get on your feet.” Delaware a desire as we had made a new family there and loved the people so much and South Carolina? Well that was my heart ... My roots are in the south and I have always had a dream to go back and live amongst my Moms people. (My ever loving kissin cousins as they say.) We were in the midst of planning and praying when my father called us...in hearing our story, he offered to loan us the money to get the transmission fixed. I cried and cried. Just my dads offer alone restored a hope to my soul that I had lost momentarily. Thank you Lord that You bring us HOPE in our deserts. We placed his offer before the Lord and waited to hear.

      It was very difficult  but we chose Arizona as our family there said; “Come on back...our house is your house. You can get on your feet once again and  take as much time as you need.” Mechanic Mike called with the phone number of a man, Ted, who was interested in buying our car 'just as it was with a broken down transmission.'  He would pay cash. We decided to sell the car to him, rent a car and drive across country and trust God that He would one day return us to the east coast, where all our things were in storage with the moving company and that He  would bring everything into fruition according to all  He had promised. 

      We asked the Lord to direct our paths and  then moved forward in faith. Kit talked with Ted in the morning and this was our plan. If Ted agreed to pay Kits asking price for the Jeep, he needed to call us by 12:00 noon at the latest. I spent hours on the phone trying to secure a rental car only to find out that the rental companies, (not even one rental company) would lease a car to us with out a credit card,  (something Kit and I had stopped using in the 90's). That was Wall number one...We waited until 12:00 and Ted never called back. OK, now   Walll number two. We got a surprising call from Kits sister in law from Phoenix explaining that she forgot to tell us the one minor stipulation of us coming to stay with them... "You can not bring Graham with you as we have two new dogs and we can't run the risk that they will not get along with Graham.”  Whew, a big WALL number three! Boy can the tides change in an instant when you are traveling with the Lord. (Any of you who are dog lovers out there KNOW that Arizona was no longer an option as we were not leaving our '130 pound, two year old baby' behind. We called Mechanic Mike, told him to fix our car and took my dad up on his offer...that was all we had peace to do. The hotel phone rang...it was Ted.  "Hi Kit, I have decided I want  to buy the jeep at your asking price. I can give you the cash today. "

     As hard as it was, Kit had to tell him the deal was off as he  had not  gotten  back to him by 12:00, (the deadline),  and we were now getting the jeep fixed. Ted was not a happy camper.  He told Kit he had tried for an entire hour to reach him between 11:00 and 12:00, all to no avail. Guess what? The front desk at the hotel told us later that the phones were out for an hour during the day, (11:00 AM to 12:00 noon) and they were so sorry...they never knew why.  Lord, you are so faithful! I started thinking that maybe, (now you have to understand just how deeply embedded within my soul our call to Mystic was), that with our jeep now repaired, we could try again to see if God would let us stay in Connecticut. Perhaps He was waiting for our transmission to be fixed to open a door... (Call me crazy I know... I just did not want to miss out on Gods highest.)

     The next morning our phone rang. “Hi Kit, Mike here...your car is done and you can pick it up whenever you would like.” Now the question was, 'How do we get there?' Kit inquired with the hotel to see if they knew of anyone who could help us out. Their answer was, "No... sorry.” A taxi cab was out of the question with the expense and we knew of no one else to ask. As twilight approached, with no other possibilities, Kit decided to hitchhike. He walked down to the freeway and waited endlessly... not one single person would stop for him. He even had a truck full of teenagers yell out some profanity to him as he stood on the side of the road. (And the attacks just kept on coming... Whew! ) He came back to our hotel room hours later. I will never forget his face as long as I live. What  I saw that evening was a broken man...It was a time in our life where we just felt so beat up...we didn't understand ANYTHING. "Why Lord are we going through so much effort, hardship and now, we can't even find a way to get our car?" I was broken myself seeing the pain in my very best friend, my husband. The two of us wept together.  The truth was, we didn't want to move anywhere else...we wanted to be in the place God  had brought us to  but it was just not happening. We both knew it was time to LET GO even if we did not know where our next home would be. Kit then looked at me and spoke from the depths of his heart what I already knew; “Susan I am done. I can not try one more minute to make anything come about and I do not have the ability to keep staying here in Connecticut in faith. We need to make a plan to leave. We know it is not Arizona but we can't keep on like this.”   I felt his heart ache and his pain so deeply. I hugged him again as I knew we had our answer and I spoke “ Yes... Yes, we will leave. "  I then felt a peace...a huge release. There was no longer a question of leaving nor was there any regret that we had not run the full race...In Gods eyes, we passed the finish line and for whatever reason, He was not asking us to stay any longer. Even with no understanding about anything we were at peace... Just to know Kit was OK and at peace, I was alright. I can't remember what we had for dinner or if we even ate but I do know we slept deeply as we were totally exhausted beyond imagination.

      Upon awakening, the front desk told us they knew of a guy that would drive Kit to New London for $20.00 to pick up our  car. ( Hallelujah, thank you Jesus.) It was a Tuesday...I asked Kit if we could have one last night in Connecticut to say goodbye...he said yes, BUT ONLY ONE! (And I mean it!)  Tina called to say we could come to their home in Milford for 5 nights as Mark and Carter were going on a camping trip and would we like to have Carters room.  Graham would be happy to see his cherished friends and sisters, McPherson and Kisses...OK, the truth be told, Graham had a hankering for McPherson..she was his “girlfriend for sure.” 

     So on Wednesday, June 9^th, we packed up our jeep, (Thank you dad and thank you Jesus), and we began our journey back to Milford ...Our options were narrowed down to three now...God had gotten  us through so far...yes our sail was tattered, our ship battered and our hearts in need of some R&R  but we knew we would be welcomed with open arms by our family in Milford, blessed with some home cooked food, sleep on a soft bed, get prayers and hear Pastor Vito preach his precious words on the grace of God.  Yes, our hearts needed to focus on the Lord, His love, presence and peace and not think another day about what to do...Mystic, the whys or whats ...JUST JESUS!

     This time, as we said our goodbyes to our beloved Mystic and the maritime seafaring community, we knew in our hearts, we would not be returning anytime SOON...One day, we would return... in Gods perfect time but it was time to say goodbye for now. There was a sadness, yet a hope. We knew with assurance in our hearts that the Lord was with us. We did not understand ANYTHING nor did we try. We trusted He would order our steps... We were befuddled, bedraggled but BLESSED! 

 Trust in the Lord with all of your might and lean not unto your own understanding.