A time of Transformations.

      Oh the abysmal calm of the season's very first snow  glittering in the golden sunlight, everything looking as if it were dipped in a soft, brilliant white fluff. January 2002 held  many wonderful and glorious 'snow days' for Kit, Patch and I. Only God could create something so awesome as a scintillating and incandescent snow fall. I treasure the days that I would watch Kit and Patch out of our living room window as they would frolic and play in the abundance of snow that blanketed our front yard. I would stand there and begin to cry tears of joy and appreciation for my home and family. They were like two little kids on a snow day where school had been canceled. Such joy filled their faces . All that mattered to them was seizing this perfect moment, throwing snowballs and making snow angels. (OK,  Patch made snow (dog) angels with his own unique signature, but never learned how to throw snow balls.)

      The month of January brought forth a few changes for Kit and I, the first one being that we obtained our own parking place at the National Press building. This made our commute into DC much more pleasurable. Not only was our drive just a short 20 minutes compared to almost an hour on the bus and Metro train, but driving over the Potomac River on the historical Memorial Bridge was spectacular. We thoroughly enjoyed the wintry scenery with the stark, chaste trees, cold, smoky  somber skies and all the hustle and bustle of the prodigious city of Washington DC.

      The second change was not quite as amiable. Though we had seen a few occurrences in November and December where the staff seemed to be loosing unity in the spirit, it appeared that it was happening now on a more regular bases. Worship in the mornings began to be more contrived. There was stress, confusion as well as some abusive remarks spoken by the owner of the company to our co-workers. Kit and I had never experienced anything like it before. We found ourselves often puzzled and taken aback as we journeyed home each night , wondering what on earth was taking place at our work place. We knew that the Lord was not the author of confusion and that all  the pathways of the Lord are peace, thus our worship, praise and prayer time was perplexing. If it were a church we were attending, we would have the option to leave  but this was our place of employment where God had called us to be a part of this family of believers. We phoned our friends and family in California for prayer and council. I felt impelled  to speak to my bosses Scott and Thomas and share what I was observing during worship and within the company. They both agreed as well as validated what I shared but did not feel led to take action. I was encouraged to continue to serve God at my job and basically, “Go with the Flow.” I am not saying that the actions we beheld were intentional but the red flags were up. What troubled me the most was that it seemed as if Kit and I were the only ones truly bothered or at least showing our concern.

      What began as BLISS, a dream come true was now changing before our eyes. Our spirits and hearts were so disturbed that we thought at times we were ' imagining things' or 'going crazy' as no one else was saying a word when truly we could all see these strange occurrences taking place during worship, meetings or around the office.

     Some of our  days were fine...it seemed as if things had changed in the spirit. We all laughed, shared stories and the office was at peace. On the days where there was turmoil and confusion we just went about our day, concentrated on our work and worshiped the Lord in our hearts whether or not their was unity and peace within the company. I can't tell you how many times Kit and I would walk back to our offices after morning worship shaking our heads in confusion, bewilderment and asking God for His grace and peace. One thing for sure, whether discord or peace, the Lord was ALWAYS there with us.

      As February arrived, there were two exciting events on the calendar! Our housewarming party to celebrate the new home God had given us as well as our company's annual board meeting. In the planning of the company's extravagant gala, Kit's and my party took a second fiddle....out of our staff of 17, only 6 attended our dinner. (Which turned out to be a blessing in disguise.)

      The memories of our housewarming party will forever be ingrained upon my heart. It was truly a magnificent and blessed night. The sun was beginning its descent with streams of gold filtering through the clouds accompanied by it's magical reflections dancing on the hood of our jeep. The dusk hours were arriving. A tiny black Volkswagen beetle, brimful with four very dear and anointed men arrived in front of our Alexandria town home. In our list of distinguished guests for the evening, we were graced with a famous and loving Christian author, a dapper pastor with a healing ministry, our dear friend and coworker and comedian who helped Kit and I move into our home, and lastly, a handsome young assistant to a prominent world wide prophet. This young man brought joy and peace every where he traveled. He had a pure heart and relationship with the Lord that could tempt many to be envious! Kit and I felt so blessed! With these 4 men and my husband, I knew all of the gourmet cuisine I had been cooking and preparing all week would definitely be appreciated and enjoyed immensely. Kits and my favorite kind of evening in all the world are nights that are whiled away with the sound of shared laughter, informal banter, scrumptious food, vintage wines, decadent desserts and prayer. The Lord answered the desire of our hearts as this evening was just that. Being that I grew up with 5 brothers, having these 5 men at our party was like reuniting with family and I did not care one bit that I was the only female in the bunch. Not only did we all eat until we were stuffed but each guest prayed an anointed prayer over our home. It was both a meaningful and celebrated moment for both Kit and I. Thank you Lord for the exact guest list for our party. It was intimate, special and exactly what the Lord had in mind. (He always knows how to give the best blessings!)

      The big gala event for our company was quite different! The staff all helped with their appointed tasks. Our National Press office would be the meeting place for pastors, dignitaries, Christian artists, prophets and preachers from all over the nation. The offices were embellished with warmth, catered foods and freshly brewed coffee to make each guest feel welcomed. As an onlooker on the side, I watched each visitor as they arrived sauntering from room to room, enjoying a hot beverage, a plate of fresh fruit and gourmet muffins, shaking hands as they were introduced to a new acquaintance then moving to a comfortable spot to sit and chat for awhile. In many ways  it was a very special and exciting gathering yet at the same time, it was sad. Sorrowful because what was being projected to this group through the owner of the company as she began speaking at the podium was not in fact true. The unity she portrayed was not at all what our small group was experiencing. Kits and my heart ached. We did however meet a lot of wonderful people during these days. Some of my favorites being a pastor from Africa, two prophets from Australia and a wonderful lady prophet from Texas. There were great worship leaders that led us in praise and once again even in the midst of all of the discord of our group, the Lord showed up. I felt an emptiness  even a sorrow inside when the last guest departed. It was now just our small family of believers once again. Our morning sessions continued with the talk of where the company was heading yet still there had been  no healing from harsh words, confusion, fear and discord that was so very obvious in the spirit. Kit and I continued to pray, seek God, make sure our hearts were clean and served God daily at our jobs. He gave us the grace to stay...always meeting us as we gave Him our dismay and alarm.

      Have you ever seen the movie “Clash of the Titans?” ( It is a spectacular classic epic starring Lawrence Olivier and Maggie Smith.) Well soon, there came a time at work where its sister movie could have been written and made. (In name only.) It's title would be “Clash of Susan and the owner of the news company.” Yes, I am being humorous but quite serious. Talk about oil and water, hot fudge sundaes and broccoli, punk rock and Andrea Bocelli, that was US. No matter how hard I tried to do my job, please her or try to connect, it was just not working. Again, some days were fine, but then there were others that my encounters with her just sent me flying through the roof. Sometimes I would leave work early, taking the metro train to Alexandria, the whole time fighting back my tears. (I could hardly wait until I reached our home and could just cry out to God.) Other times, I found myself talking a mile a minute at the end of the day to Kit as we drove home, trying so hard to MAKE sense of it all. The truth was...there was no sense to be made. God was working within me to set me free from allowing the actions of others to control me as they did. He was teaching me to submit to authority as unto Him and serve Him no matter the conditions I found myself in. He was cultivating within me the ability to TRUST HIM even when NOTHING made sense. He was even showing me to pray in the midst of abuse, when everything within me wanted to LEAVE! I can't tell you how many times I asked Him if I could go and work somewhere else. His answer was always a NO! But, what the Lord did do for me was none other than a MIRACLE straight from His heart to mine.

      My boss and the CEO of the company called in an amazing accountant, Jonathon, from Tennessee. He was a lovely Christian man and to this day, I believe a Godsend and an angel from God to keep me at this company. Jonathon's mission was to train me to be able to preform more intricate bookkeeping duties including taxes, retirement plans, self employment etc. Not only did he teach me all the ins and outs of the bookkeeping business  but he was a man filled with the love of Jesus and possessed an integrity I so deeply needed to see at this particular time in my job. As he got ready to leave DC, he met with my two supervisors and said that I deserved a raise! Not only did I get a promotion but because the company was cutting back financially, they decided to grant me a two day work week instead of the full five. I would be making the same amount of pay working two days a week that I made in a full week. Yes, this was a miracle and the Lord's answer to my hearts cry. He knew I could not take 5 days of the “Clash of -------.” Thank you Jesus and thank you Jonathon. What this advancement opened up for me was not only a reprieve from the stress at work but to a momentous and amazing season between the Lord and myself. He gave me a time of daydreaming, researching, writing and creating. It was an awe-inspiring gift for my soul. I am a firm believer that we all need something that impels us to focus or be distracted from our 'norm', to once again find our passions. In finding what we love to do, we are able to let go of those things that are worrisome and stressful to our souls. The extra 3 days off gave me a chance to create and cook new recipes, dance, plan evenings to have friends over, decorate, worship, pray and write until my heart was overflowing! Thank You Jesus! In my working part time, I was able to be fresh, at peace and consistently there for Kit when he would arrive home from work feeling drained, confused and bewildered by the ongoing saga of our company!

      As the spring arrived, the beauty in Virginia and DC were breathtaking with all of the flowers, rose bushes and trees blooming in a spectacular array of majestic color.  Our route to work in the mornings were like viewing a captivating painting...a gilded portrait of colorful personalities. Whether it be flowering trees, rowers passionately paddling their canoes on the glistening Potomac river or the crowds that filled the city avenues, each day was a feast for our eyes as well as our souls. The cherry trees blooming around the Tidal Basin was a signal that the celebration of spring had arrived to DC. It was as if there was an outburst of life with the beautiful colors of soft pink and brilliant white blossoms every where we looked. Thousands of residents as well as guests from across the nation and world would travel to DC to partake in the Cherry Blossom Festival. Our cozy street in Alexandria had come alive with more color than one could dream or imagine with all of the wisteria dangling from the cottage's quaint arches, boisterous azaleas and lilies, petunias amidst the tall wild flowers and sunflowers!

      Upon receiving a grand wedding invitation in the mail, Kit and I were elated for the opportunity to take some time off and travel back to the Carolinas for my cousins wedding! It would be a nice get-a-way and reprieve from all that was happening in our busy lives in DC. Just the thought of 'going home to people who loved us' was such a comfort! One of the things Kit and I cherished most about the south was the fact that eating well is at the heart of every celebration. There would be many a home cooked meal where beloved foods would grace each table. Everything needed to prepare the delicious cuisine would be gathered from the town's local bounty. Some of our favorites being, fresh collard greens, okra, corn on the cob, catfish from the river, homemade biscuits, red velvet cake and my utmost favored, boiled peanuts! We could hardly wait to partake in one of our families delightful southern dinners! It would be a short stay but be wondrous for our souls!

      Spring time in the Carolinas is gorgeous. My hometown neighborhood looked like a scene right out of the enchanting movie 'Steel Magnolias'. With each street arrayed with showy dogwoods , resplendent azaleas, rose bushes in bloom accompanied by lush green landscapes, each visitor was beckoned to take in the beauty, peace and joy of God's beautiful creation. We arrived the evening before the wedding to my cousin John's home, A grandiose restored Pre-civil home on 2 acres of land in the country. I loved their home and my heart was elated as we arrived and got to see all of the boys and his wife Sarah. We had brought our black lab Patch with us. It had been quite a struggle in deciding if he should come with us as he would have to stay with my cousins brother in law Doug and not with us as John's boys were not use to dogs. Kit and I had a peace as Doug and his wife had two dogs and an abundance of land for the dogs to run and play. It seemed a better choice than taking Patch to a kennel for our short vacation. We parked the jeep by their front door and went in to greet my cousins. We left Patch in the car as it was his home away from home. He loved to go everywhere with Kit and I and even had his own quilted tapestry covered doggy bed in the back. We wanted to say hello to everyone before heading over to take Patch to Doug's home. To our dismay, when we returned to the jeep Patch was gone. He had never left our car in all the 10 years we had him. We searched everywhere for him including the woods, residential areas and the nearby river. Our quest went on through the dinner hour, early evening and into the late night. There were search parties in cars, on foot, still, he was no where to be found. As Kit and I got into bed later that night, we went before the Lord and gave Him Patch. We asked for His intervention and perfect will, for protection and grace. He gave us peace and we slept. It was about 6:30 in the morning when we heard a knock on our door....it was my cousin John. He was crying. He had not been able to sleep and went looking for Patch in the wee early hours of the morning. He found him on the side of the country road not to far from the house. He had been hit by a car. We got up immediately. For at least a half hour I was in shock and disbelief, not admitting that our little Patchy was gone. Finally I got dressed as Kit wanted to go and bring him home to John's and bury him. We drove to the spot my cousin said he was and seeing him there broke both of our hearts. Kit wrapped him in one of his favorite Indian blankets that his father had given him and we brought him to John's land. We all gathered together to say a prayer and bury him...still in unbelief that he was gone. All we could think of in the natural was that some type of animal, (ground hog, squirrel, cat, fox), came near the jeep and Patch's animal instinct kicked in thus he jumped out of the jeep to chase it. He never had that temptation in VA. He obviously lost his way back to the house and being that they lived in the country, he was walking amongst the back road highway. That was the natural side of it! In the spirit, the Lord reminded me of something. It was our last day before we left for the Carolina's during worship when I heard the voice of the Lord say, “It is time to go.” I thought to myself that is odd...what does that mean Lord? I was hoping it meant we were freed to leave our company, ( Just kidding...well mostly kidding). He quickened that word to me as I looked at little Patchy in the blanket...it was the Lord telling me that it was  his time to go. It was then I understood that it did not matter how God had chosen to take him,  it was just his time. There was no need for Kit and I to go through all of the 'should haves, could haves, doubts and fret.' Patch had been with us 10 wonderful years and had developed a few destructive behaviors that we had been battling with. (You know the wrestling and striving as they are desperately trying to be the alpha male in the home?) God knew it was time...so we rested in His peace and even though the next months were hard as we grieved 'our baby', God's comfort was always there, filling us at every corner.

      The Lords grace was so awesome as the very morning Kit and I lost Patch we had to start getting ready for my cousins big event! This wedding was the fete of all fetes. Held in an old historic church, we sat in the upstairs seating taking in a wondrous view of the entire ceremony  along with hundreds of others in awe. Watching my young cousin Janae, 20 years of age, say her wedding vows in a gown that looked like something out of a Cinderella movie, I wondered where all the years had gone as I could still see her as a little girl  sharing Sunday dinner with us. After the ceremony  at Janae's parents estate on the water, ensconced in lush surroundings an exorbitant reception was held. Her parents created a sense of extravagance throughout their dramatically decorated home on the waterfront  with the wooded grounds dazzling each guest, creating a sense of 'royalty and pampering' for each and every soul. The theme of this gala could have easily been “Some Enchanted Evening.” The cuisine matched the ambiance to a “T” with fresh seafood, superb entrees, savory appetizers, champagne, wine, as well as an abundance of decadent desserts. It was so wonderful to be reunited with all of my Mother's people from the south. We enjoyed many a smile, stories, hugs and made some notable new memories. The evening ended with 'dancing in the moonlight', to a marvelous band, laughter and a wondrous night had by all!

      After some of those stupendous, southern heartwarming meals with our Carolina family I talked about earlier, we packed up our jeep and headed home to our quaint and cozy haven in Alexandria, Virginia.  Our eyes were puffy from all the tears we shed as the the loss of our baby finally hit home. The wedding along with seeing all of the family was certainly a diversion. Now with no distractions, we were reminded of our loss and were able to begin grieving. Patch had always gone on all of our road trips with us. We felt so dismal as we drove home without him in the back of our jeep, begging for one of our road trip snacks. While journeying to the Carolinas, Kit and I were fairly strict with Patch and did not give in, (much) to his moans for one of our treats. Now as he was gone, I longed for the chance to have him with us again. If only I could look in the back of our car just one more time, seeing how much he wanted to share with Kit and I, begging for that cracker, piece of cheese or cookie, I would give him ANYTHING he wanted!

      We arrived home, unpacked and once again felt his loss so deeply as we went to bed. He would always make a noise as Kit and I would get settled in our rice bed each night. (It was his request to climb up and sleep with us.) It was a hard few weeks but each day the Lord gave us a new bounty of grace to accept him being gone and helped us to move ahead in His strength.

      Summer would be arriving in a matter of weeks...we looked forward to the awesome thunderstorms, twinkling fireflies, and BBQ's. Thank you Lord for our life in Virginia and thank you for your grace and abundant comfort in the loss of our little Patchy!