An Appearance to Remember

      It was a cold and somber, murky day. It rains a lot in DC...The darkening sky finally gave way to a heavy rainfall. My task in hand was to create an inviting and convivial atmosphere and cook up an ambrosial meal as Kit was bringing home our dear friend Elizabeth from our work place in Washington D.C. We would all enjoy a home cooked dinner and an evening of fellowship together. Hostess that I am, it was my kind of day . The problem was not the things I was entrusted to do, the predicament was myself.

      Before I really began to comprehend God's grace and love for us as His kids, ( separate from any works we try to accomplish to feel loved and accepted), I struggled from a deep place within. My wrong belief was that whenever I felt I had let the Lord down, He would leave me and I was alone . Growing up in a family where performance earned me points, acceptance and love, I did not know how to separate that ingrained belief with what the word of God teaches regarding God's precious grace and love towards us. Whenever I felt like I had failed the Lord, it took me days to truly believe that He was still with me and loved me....It sounds silly I know...but it has been one of my deepest struggles in life.

      Okay, getting back to this stormy day. I spent time in my cozy kitchen, making one of my mom's legendary recipes, Italian spaghetti! I'm getting hungryI had so much fun making sure I added all of  the right ingredients, tasting it over and over again until I got the “AHH FACTOR.” I chopped up an abundance of fresh vegetables, cilantro, and crisp lettuce for a delicious garden salad, made some cheesy garlic bread, baked a batch of mouthwatering brownies, put on a pot of fresh coffee, and opened a bottle of lets have a drinkMerlot. I cleaned the house, lit all my candles, put on some soothing, tranquil music, set the table with my mother's vintage china, our good silver, linen napkins and was ready for our special guest Elizabeth to arrive. I was Doing what I loved most, creating a special time for a dear friend and my husband but still inside, I felt ill at ease. I was out of sorts as I could not let go of the feelings that troubled my soul. I had let the Lord down and with my emotions in control, I continued to question in my mind, over and over; “Lord are you still here?”


As the dusk made way for the nightfall, Kit called me to say they were on their way. I knew that soon, he would be arriving from DC with our special guest. Elizabeth was a lady who was visiting our Christian news company from Europe. She was filled with the love of Jesus and her ministry was teaching people to hear the voice of the Lord. She was like a “mom” to both Kit and I and we loved her dearly. She had been with  our company for 6 months and her stay in the states was coming to an end. We wanted to spend as much time as possible with her before her departure. I quickly freshened up, looking like I did not have a care in the world.

      As our Jeep pulled into the driveway, Kit helped her from the car and they hurriedly walked to the front door, trying not to get wet from the rain. After warm hugs, cheerful hellos and a glass wine, we all sat down at the dining table, sharing, laughing and enjoying a warm and snug meal as the chilly winds blew outside.


      Battling a cold, Elizabeth was not feeling a hundred percent that night.  I had already told myself that this evening was going to be all about her.  As we sat in the living room after dinner, I would not  ask her to pray for me with what I was combating inside my soul. I just wanted her to feel pampered, refreshed and then Kit would drive her back to DC . Our evening was going to be a light and joyful one, no heaviness or deep talk! She was an amazing prayer warrior and so very often, whenever she would go and visit friends, they would ask her to pray and minister to them. (Many a time, taking a toll on her.) Tonight would not be that kind of night!

      As our special evening had come to an end, we began to say our goodbyes. Kit was getting ready to get Elizabeth's coat and suddenly, when I glanced across the room, I saw a man sitting in our wing back chair. Now, let me explain to you that at this time in my walk with the Lord, I had never had this experience before. I never doubted others when they shared things that they saw in the spirit realm, I just knew I did not have the same experience in my life.  Alright, back to the man in the chair. He looked very peaceful, had brown hair, beautiful soft, loving eyes and was wearing a cream colored gown with a sash. It seemed that almost as soon as he appeared, he disappeared.....I sat there in amazement. The second this man left my sight, the words I heard in my spirit were; “I would never leave without you.”

     The strange thing is that I never felt any fear, just peace and a calmness. As I tried in my natural mind to comprehend all of this, I could not. I just knew that a tranquility captured my soul that I had not experienced all day. As Kit and Elizabeth were getting ready to leave, I shared what had just happened;


     “Before you two head back to DC, I need to tell you that as we were talking, I saw a man sitting in that chair. Can we all pray together before you two leave ?”

       Elizabeth replied, (not feeling the least bit shocked;) “Susan, what did this man look like?”

      I answered, still feeling a bit of bewilderment; “ He looked peaceful, had brown hair and was dressed in a cream colored linen gown with a sash tied around his waste.”

      Kits face was full of wonderment as he and I had never experienced this type of event before. He was taking it all in as Elizabeth began to speak;

      “Susan, the Lord is telling me it was Him. He was not in His glory as you would expect to see Him. He was in His servants attire. He is telling me How very much He loves you and is with you always. He says that you are His precious daughter, (the very phrase He would say to me in my journal time with Him in the mornings).He is so beautiful

      To try to explain what I felt at that moment can not be put into words.

      The Lord had opened my eyes that evening to His spiritual realm. He gave me a revelation that He was always there in our home, even when I could not see Him as I did that night. He knew the pain in my heart and that I had believed that He had left me...(just a lie of the enemy.) The words I heard when I saw Him, “I would never leave without you,” were words of His assurance that He is with me always , NO MATTER WHAT. I was in awe all night and felt such a peace, love and assurance from Jesus that I was forever with Him and He with me.

      The next day at work, (mind you it was a Christian news company), I shared with a few of my co-workers my experience the night before. As I shared, one of my friends eyes lit up in wonderment. She began to share that when her husband accepted Jesus at a Christian conference years before, Jesus appeared to him as well. It was again Jesus, not in His glory, but in a cream colored linen gown with a sash around his waste. As Jesus appeared to him, He told him to share the love of God with others. I got goosebumps as she spoke of her husbands story. It amazes me how God always brings such wondrous confirmations to our lives.

      How much do we really understand about the spiritual realm? We see when and what God wants to show us. As my walk with the Lord has deepened, He has shown me more things in the realm of His spirit. I am hungry to see more and more, for we are spiritual beings and He is spirit and there is so much to learn and see. Engraved upon my heart and something I will never forget is this special hallmark in my life, my special gift from Jesus. I thank the Lord for meeting that need in me that gloomy day and giving me a revelation that has changed my life forever. I have never seen Him again in our living room chair, but I know He is with us everyday. I cherish His presence, love, grace and mercy in our lives and look forward to many more revelations of His glory.


P.S. I want to share something special about why I chose this photo for my story. When this particular story took place, in my journal time with God, He always called me His "precious daughter," (which by the way, Elizabeth never knew that when she spoke those words from the Lord  that evening).   Now, and for many years, He calls  me His "little lamb", thus this photo really touches my heart. Bless you, Susan



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